the inescapable magnitude of pride.

'This sin has been described by Saint Augustine as the result of pride, of the movement whereby a creature (that is, an essentially dependent being whose principle of existence lies not in itself, but in another) tries to set up on its own, to exist for itself. Such a sin requires no complex social conditions, no extended experience, no great intellectual development. From the moment a creature becomes aware of God as God and of itself as self, the terrible alternative of choosing God or self for the centre is opened to it. This sin is committed daily by young children and ignorant peasants as well as by sophisticated society: it is the fall in every individual life, and in each day of each individual life, the basic sin behind all particular sins:

at this very moment you and I are either committing it, or about to commit it, or repenting it.'

-Mr. Clive Staples, The Problem of Pain

Consequences of Insincerity

(Acts 19: 13-16.

Some Jews who went around driving out evil spirits tried to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those who were demon-possessed. They would say, "In the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, I command you to come out." Seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. One day, the evil spirit answered them, "Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?" Then the man who had the evil spirit jumped on them an overpowered them all. He gave them such a beating that they ran out of the house naked and bleeding.

If we resist the devil by faith in Christ, he will flee from us; but if we think to resist him by the using of Christ's name, or his works, as a spell or charm, Satan will prevail against us -M. Henry

This concept has been running through my mind for quite some time now. Surprisingly enough, it has taken a fair amount of time for me to dig this passage up and consider it, within its proper context.

What does this passage mean to me? What are its implications for the 21st century church? Why is such a concept constantly knocking at my door?

I am constantly grieving the lack of sincerity within the church, as well as rejoicing when I find any whisper of honesty amongst these same people at any given time. Oh, how truly tragic is it to recently hear of so many "spiritual" men leaving their wife, after decades of marriage, supposedly because the love was never there in the first place, and was instead a simple product of social standing. It has been such a plague of sorrow to hear of people abandoning any pursuit of Truth, because they never meant to look for it in the first place, but simply went along with what was presented before them for the sake of convenience. My heart carries an overwhelming burden for some of my dearest friends who come from the pastor-families, which often bring along secrecy at any cost, for the sake of saving face and... "saving souls," as if any human had to ultimately do with the eternal well-being of anyone else. I have watched and experienced the pain of those who choose such ill-fated secrecy, and much like those who claim the name of God, but do not trust in the liberating work of salvation, they are proverbially beaten and bloodied, while often destroying the lives of others, in the process.

There is no beauty in this. There is joy. I do not see Truth in this. There can be no future, if we continue to try and hide our short-comings and imperfections from the reality of the situation, with this "great suit of fig-leaves" that we've made for ourselves.

Much like Gestalt Theory, which have root in some of the Theological findings of Immanuel Kant, true change only comes about when we take on full acceptance of what is, as opposed to what should be. When we surrender to the way things actually are, we finally allow ourselves to be who we are. We are moved by love. We then begin the undeniable and impenetrable process of being restored to back to what we were created to be. Let us find comfort in sincerity and openness. Let us be liberated by forgiveness, and let us shun any dishonesty or shame that keeps us from such liberation. I put hope in the idea that it is here that we find ourselves. It is here that we can begin to see see Truth.

beggars.

all you great men of power, you who boast of your feats-

politicians and entrepreneurs-

can you safeguard your breath in the night while you sleep?

keep your heart beating steady and sure?

as your lie in your bed, does the thought haunt your head

that you're really, rather small?

if there's one thing i know in this life: we are beggars all.

all you champions of science and rulers of men,

can you summon the sun from its sleep?

does the earth seek your counsel on how fast to spin?

can you shut up the gates of the deep?

don't you know that all things hang, as if by a string,

over the darkness- poised to fall?

if there's one things i know in this life: we are beggars all.

all you big shots that swagger and stride with conceit,

did you devise how your frame would be formed?

if you'd be raised in a palace, or live out in the streets?

did you choose the place or the hour you'd be born?

tell me what can you claim? not a thing- not your name.

tell me if you can recall,

just one thing, that's not a gift in this life?

can you hear what's been said?

can you see now that everything is grace after all?

if there's one things I know in this life: we are beggars all.

-only 

d. kensrue '09

My Only Peace. Found in Illogic.

This has been the hardest year of my life.

Acting on faith in order to find Truth, very little has ended up making much sense to me.

I still wouldn't claim to be able to make much sense of almost anything, anymore.

My greatest blessing came in a place of death.

The most audible voice came from the most silent of places.

One of my only comforts came from a man who finds gain in loss. 

Beauty with abandonment.

Simplicity amongst complexity.

Joy within depravity.

For this man in which I take great pride in knowing, I consider myself blessed.

the reality of the situation.

A COPY OF THE LETTER I SENT (A FEW WEEKS AGO) TO THE PRESIDENT OF BIOLA UNIVERSITY.

To Dr Barry Corey,

My name is ( ). I graduated from Biola in 2005, with a BA in Psychology. Shortly thereafter, I moved to Northern California to work at a group home for teen alcoholics and drug addicts. After working up North and then traveling around the East Coast for 6 months, I came back to Los Angeles, and am now going into my second year at ULCA, getting my Masters in Social Welfare. I attend Grace Brethren Church in Long Beach.

In Kinnaman and Lyons’, UnChristian, the authors discuss a survey that was released in 2007. Tragically, it found that “most of the lifestyle activities of born-again Christians were statistically equivalent to those of non-born-agains… Born-again believers are just as likely to bet or gamble, to visit a pornographic website, to take something that did not belong to them, to consult a medium or psychic, to physically fight or abuse someone, to have consumed enough alcohol to be considered legally drunk, to have used an illegal, non-prescription drug, to have said something to someone that was not true, to have gotten back at someone for something he or she did, and to have said mean things behind another person’s back.” On top of all of these things, I regretfully have to admit that from my experience, Christians are sincerely laughed at in many regions of the country, for their inability to function in a secular, outside world, as well.

Although I do not feel comfortable using names without permission, I can also say that I have heard a fair amount of people say (some, that you have met and know personally) that part of the reason that they have given up on the Church, as zealously dreamed of at Biola, is because they have seen very few people actually follow through and commit to a concept of Christian people, interacting with the outside world, in a fashion similar to that of the church in Acts 2. Of those who still consider themselves active Christians after spending a few post-Biola years in the outside world, many of those individuals seem to have become complacent, beginning to live very safe, stagnant “Christian” lives, which do very little besides mimic secular, western culture.

As grateful as I am and as blessed as I feel about my time at Biola, the one thing I truly wish I would’ve been more prepared for was and is life after and outside of Biola University. Truly, by the grace and provision of God, he was and is kind enough to be my sustenance and provision with the things I need to make it in 21^st century, rapidly globalizing world, in which I often feel orphaned and abandoned by the spiritual procrastination and apathy of others. I say none of this out of spite, cynicism, or unhelpful criticism, but out of concern and hope for the future of the Church, Christ’s beloved.

In Initiative A, of Strategic Theme #2, it states that Biola has a strong purpose to “take inventory and contemplate some of the major challenges of our society and world,” as well as discovering how “we may be positioned to serve the world more intentionally.” Dear brother, whether I have nothing, something, or everything to do with it, I beg you to consider focusing more of your training/education with students on how to live as active Christians, once he or she moves into the outside world. I cannot say what this looks like at this moment exactly, but since such an issue has continued to weigh so heavily upon my heart, I had to say something about it. If you have any interest in talking with me more about these issues and what may or may not be done to help, feel free to contact me.

With the best of intentions and the greatest of Hope,

( )

i have yet to here back. and my faith continues to dwindle in times such as these.

maybe we can't judge or define art...

... but maybe as Christians, we should still strive to find Truth and Beauty wherever it seems to have been Divinely placed.

aesthetic.

skill.

self-expression.

progression/creation.

(transcendence of time and place).

.maybe art goes beyond paint and canvas.

let us strive for some type of Absolute in an otherwise, relativistic world and saltless, 21st-century church.

oh, and... 'artwork that is only about wanting to be famous will never make you famous.  any fame is a bi-product of making something that means something.  you don't go to a restaurant and order a meal because you want to have a shit.' -Banksy 

The quite fitting "Stockholm Syndrome"

Upon discussing the title of Derek Webb's new album, "Stockholm Sydrome," it seems as if the general conclusion is that the title is in reference to one held captive, falling in love with the cause of his/her captor, if not the captor in its entirety.

The older I get, the more tragically clear it becomes to me, how strikingly similar the American church is to Western Culture.

I just saw an online video of California's governor holding a giant knife, while suggesting that a good answer to closing the deficit budget would be to buy over-priced cars with Schwarzenegger's very own "celebrity signature" on it.

I also just read an article by Ed Kennedy that said "healthcare spending already accounts for 17 percent of our entire domestic product.  In other advanced nations, where the figure is around 10 percent, everyone has insurance and health outcomes that are equal or better than ours."  Individuals uninsured in this country has reached 47 million, this year.

It breaks my heart to see those who consider themselves genuine, "born-again" Christians spend so much time worrying about being "culturally relevant," It is as if we have something to prove to an already insane culture of American living (as seen above, although I condone no particular political stance, in this reflection), which by the way, we will never do as well as they do- it is not why or how we were made.

I cannot tell anyone to change their way of thinking, besides myself.  I will not tell people what to think, because that is besides the actual point.  The point being here, is that we MUST re-evaluate who we are and what our calling is, in light of such a dark and dismal time and place.  We must move closer to becoming more like CHRIST, not the American church.  If we do not, apathy and spiritual procrastination will most likely lead us to become captive to the very enemy we once fought, not only losing our purpose, but even adopting and embracing the values of something much more dangerous- a world without Truth or Light.

When people ask me whether or not I think they are going to Heaven, I tell them that I truly thank God I will never, ever have to make that decision or even really try to understand what that even begins to look like (when being honest).  However, I do believe that I am getting to the age and the place in my faith where I truly begin to see how actions may begin to define what we sincerely believe in our hearts and where our treasures lie.  It is here that I ask myself, as well Christ's bride, the church, the question of what or who do we believe in.