berkeley. 1955

(holy!)
... the bum's as holy as the seraphim! the madman is holy as you my soul are holy!
The typewriter is holy to the poem is holy the voice is holy the hearers are holy the ecstasy is holy!
Holy Peter holy Allen holy Solomon holy Lucien holy Kerouac holy Huncke holy Burroughs holy Cassady holy the unknown buggered and suffering beggars holy the hideous human angels!
Holy my mother in the insane asylum! Holy the cocks of the grandfathers of Kansas!
Holy the groaning saxophone! Holy the bop apocalypse! Holy the jazzbands marijuana hipsters peace & junk & drums!
Holy the solitudes of skyscrapers and pavements! Holy the cafeterias filled with the millions! Holy the mysterious rivers of tears under the streets!
Holy the long juggernaut! Holy the vast lamb of the middle class! Holy the crazy shepherds of rebellion! Who digs Los Angeles IS Los Angeles!
Holy New York Holy San Francisco Holy Peoria & Seattle Holy Paris Holy Tangiers Holy Moscow Holy Istanbul!
Holy time in eternity holy eternity in time holy the clocks in space holy the fourth dimension holy the fifth International holy the Angel in Moloch!
Holy the sea holy the desert holy the railroad holy the locomotive holy the visions holy the hallucinations holy the miracles holy the eyeball holy the abyss!
Holy forgiveness! mercy! charity! faith! Holy! Ours! bodies! suffering! magnanimity!
Holy the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent kindness of the soul!

Blessings and Curses

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” - The Problem of Pain

While I was in Peru this summer, I remember checking International news on a daily basis, and as usual... the US, quite often in the form of recession talk, was frequently the headline story. Reading also about California, news headlines usually revolved around the Golden State's skyrocketing unemployment rate, continually accompanied with stories and pictures of the "tragedy" of American poverty. After a particular day of doing this, I packed up my bag and walked over to the manager of the Spanish school I was attending, in order to pay him a mere $180 for a week of family housing, three meals a day, and 20 hours of one-on-one education in another language. We joked about the diminishing value of the dollar, and he then proceeded to tell me how much joy and healthy pride he is taking in the increasing value of the Sol (Peruvian currency). Maybe finally, Peru was receiving more of an equal opportunity to make something greater of itself on an international level, with hopes of providing a more level playing field for every Peruvian trying to find somewhat of a traditional American dream- life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

How often do we as Americans focus on lamenting over our particular, national "tragedy," without paying any attention to the fact that other countries may be benefiting (in some ways) from the devaluation of American dollar, and ultimately world-dominance and Eurocentrism? When looking at our position (although many aspects of our current economic situation are never good), is it possible to think that maybe 1) we have been abusing and neglecting our responsibility as moral and economic leaders of the world, 2) our pain may be a natural wake-up call for us to re-prioritize our values/daily living standards, and 3) that the pain of our national financial struggle may actually be God's natural way of providing the provision that other countries have been struggling to obtain, for decades? Besides, the reality of our pain and suffering are here; it does not look like it is going to go anywhere, anytime soon. Since this is the case for a large majority of us, we may as well accept it and ask where the silver lining is, in regards to this struggle. After all...

In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love and five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock! - O. Welles

We can find pain in beauty. Pain has historically shown to be a great motivator for human change, progression, and our ability to better understand and interact with the human condition. Difficulties are here... may we open our eyes and arms to this process, in order to learn how to grow, find joy, and become that much closer to being restored back to the individuals we were created to be.

if I ever become a saint, i will surely be one of darkness...

for many years, mother teresa took many steps to hide her pain and depression from the general public or anyone who did not need to be aware of such difficult truths. the words above were written in september of 1959, two years after she had written an archbishop in calcutta, disclosing the truth of the excruciatingly painful life she lead, on an all-too-often basis:

there is so much contradiction in my soul.—such deep longing for God—so deep that it is painful—a suffering continual—and yet not wanted by God—repulsed—empty—no faith—no love—no zeal.—Souls hold no attraction—Heaven means nothing—to me it looks like an empty place—the thought of it means nothing to me and yet this torturing longing for God.—pray for me please that I keep smiling at Him in spite of everything. For I am only His—so He has ever right over me. I am perfectly happy to be nobody even to God.'

from two years after she arrived in calcutta at age eighteen, many said that mother teresa struggled with severe, life-long depression. with a narrative like that, what may have inspired mother teresa to follow the calling that she did? at age eighteen, was she aware of the pain such life-long ministry may produce? and just as importantly, why does the 20th century, american church not speak more of the apparent pain involved in such faith and sacrifice? maybe it has to do with the fact that such difficult topics are avoided and instead, are replaced with an overemphasis on verses such as these:

'Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.' -Psalm 37:4(ESV)

and what of our 1st-century imitators of Christ, who lived lives of a loving, but almost masochistic fashion? tacitus, a senator and historian of 1st century Rome, reported in some detail, what pain they endured for many of the theological choices they made for themselves in response to the Gospel (from the Annals 15.44, translation modified slightly from Church and Brodribb):

'nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace... accordingly, an arrest was first made of all who pleaded guilty; then, upon their information, an immense multitude was convicted, not so much of the crime of firing the city as of hatred against mankind. Mockery of every sort was added to their deaths. Covered with the skins of beasts, they were torn by dogs and perished, or were nailed to crosses, or were doomed to the flames and burnt, to serve as a nightly illumination when daylight had expired.'

contrary to popular opinion, i believe that often on this Earth... the Lord does not show up in any sort of tangible way that one may expect. with this being considered, I believe the american church has a lot to think about, in how often they promote 'faithfulness in light of promise.' and how does this line up with regards to having faith in the spiritual protection of the Lord? According to 1 Corinthians 10:13...

'no temptation has seized you except what is common to man. and God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. but when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.'

after over ten years of pursuing truth in christianity, looking for God wherever I could find him, I have seen many individuals turn from their faith, many of whom had no intention or desire of leaving, but only did because they 'could not find God anywhere.' in reflecting upon many documentaries, interviews, and conversations over the years, these individuals seem to be exposing themselves in the most sincere manifestations, crying over the numerous nights they called upon the Lord all night, in hopes that he would deliver them and make Himself known to them. often it seemed, the good Lord did not show up.

the point in making observations of this nature is not to try to take on God, pointing out supposed flaws in the character of the Lord, almighty. rather, it is my prayer that Christ's body of believers come to acknowledge (whether through scripture, general, or special revelation) that we are promised very little on this earth. many of us were raised in churches among leaders, who often pointed towards a 'The Alchemist' type of ideology, where if we try hard enough and have faith (as long as we are in line with God and what we know of Scripture), the good Lord will find us, deliver us, and answer our prayers in a positive, immediate, and tangible way. however, as seen above, this does not seem to be the case; many faithful, third-world children will die without food in their stomachs and many faithful single individuals will die without a desired spouse at their side. maybe the only thing the world and Christ's followers are promised is that one day, many ages after our worldly selves are gone... is that the world will be restored back to its original state and that our souls will then be reunited with the reality of Truth. until then, let us not make empty promises from the pulpit, in the name of the Lord, when in reality, those promises may never come true.

considerations of a commonly regarded, metropolitan bastard

*this writing is based upon a blog that a distant, but dear friend (Jonathan Taylor), wrote a ways back about a brilliant theologian named GK Chesterton, who was known by some to have "smoked as prodigiously as he drank wine, ate, talked, and above all, wrote." the piece is in reference to a historically poor and neglected neighborhood in London, named Pimlico.

(although Los Angeles is almost never regarded as "poor and neglected," most Angelenos know the depravity that has the potential to break down many of it's inhabitants, often to the point of modern tragedy)




"Let us suppose we are confronted with a desperate thing—say Pimlico. If we think what is really best for Pimlico we shall find the thread of thought leads to the throne or the mystic and the arbitrary. It is not enough for a man to disapprove of Pimlico: in that case he will merely cut his throat or move to Chelsea. Nor, certainly, is it enough for a man to approve of Pimlico: for then it will remain Pimlico, which would be awful. The only way out of it seems to be for somebody to love Pimlico: to love it with a transcendental tie and without any earthly reason. If there arose a man who loved Pimlico, then Pimlico would rise into ivory towers and golden pinnacles; Pimlico would attire herself as a woman does when she is loved. For decoration is not given to hide horrible things: but to decorate things already adorable. A mother does not give her child a blue bow because he is so ugly without it. A lover does not give a girl a necklace to hide her neck. If men loved Pimlico as mothers love children, arbitrarily, because it is theirs, Pimlico in a year or two might be fairer than Florence. Some readers will say that this is a mere fantasy. I answer that this is the actual history of mankind. This, as a fact, is how cities did grow great. Go back to the darkest roots of civilization and you will find them knotted round some sacred stone or encircling some sacred well. People first paid honour to a spot and afterwards gained glory for it. Men did not love Rome because she was great. She was great because they had loved her.

… The man who is most likely to ruin the place he loves is exactly the man who loves it with a reason. The man who will improve the place is the man who loves it without a reason. If a man loves some feature of Pimlico (which seems unlikely), he may find himself defending that feature against Pimlico itself. But if he simply loves Pimlico itself, he may lay it waste and turn it into the New Jerusalem."



make no mistake... we are no greater than the broken cities that raise us, or the people that make it what it is.. or is not. we become beautiful and truly human when we are relentlessly loved and exalted, amidst the dark reality of our given nature.

Something we Long and Strive for..

Perhaps we must work for and chase joy, rather than sit and wait for it to bestow itself upon us...

"I'm Hurting Inside"
Written by a devout Rastafarian and someone I could learn a fair amount from

when i was just a little child
(little child)
happiness was there awhile
(there awhile)
and from me, it...
it slipped one day (ay)
happiness
come back I say

cause if you don't come
i've got to go looking...
for happiness

well if you don't come
i've got to go looking...
god, for happiness... happiness

say that
say i'm hurting
(inside) and its no...
i'm hurting
i'm hurting
deep inside

oh good god now

oh hear my cry
hear my cry
yeah my my my my my my my cry

been together like school children
(school children)
then you hurt me just in vain
(just in vain)
oh...
lord, i'm your little child
(little child)
oh
happiness come back awhile

cause if you don't come
i'm gong a looking
for happiness
the road is dangerous

cause if you don't come
i've got to go looking
for happiness...happiness

said I'm...
don't you know i'm...
i'm hurting, hurting inside

oh i'm hurting

who cares
who cares

does the one who love
oh
feel the pain
feel the pain

does the one who love
feel the pain
feel the pain

(been together)
been together like school children

what is goodness?

Personal Ideas and Reflections from the Reality of Goodness

It is a crying shame how little the “well-off” American knows about the sick, criminalized, and socially stigmatized. For if we did, I cannot help but think that our craving for personal grace and mercy, as well as our desire to care for those in need, would have no limit.

This isn’t necessarily a “piece,” as much as it is the natural, written product of an hour-long session with an individual suffering from major depression, paranoid schizophrenia, severe substance abuse, and borderline personality disorder. It is by no chance that this individual ended up this way. This person is a product of environment- an often dark world that has chosen to place their heavy burdens on the vulnerability of another.

So many of us (if not the largest majority) truly believe that we are in control of our lives and that we have earned the things we own and have achieved. Contrary to popular opinion, this is an illusion of a gift to spoil the undeserving child.

The reality of goodness is that simply that none of us are good. The only difference between “us and them” is that unlike us, they cannot afford the luxuries to cover up the vast amount of wrong-doings, innate within the darkest caverns of their soul. Make no mistake- no matter what great suit of fig-leaves we choose to dress ourselves in, we are all moral lepers. Bankrupt of goodness, we are all beggars.

Social Darwinism, Capitalism, Ayn Rand, and... The Gospel.

The following words come from 20th-century, Russian-American philosopher, Ayn Rand:

"My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute."

"The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours. But to win it requires total dedication and a total break with the world of your past, with the doctrine that man is sacrificial animal who exists for the pleasure of others. Fight for the value of your person. Fight for the virtue of your pride. Fight for the essence, which is man, for his sovereign rational mind. Fight with the radiant certainty and the absolute rectitude of knowing that yours is the morality of life and yours is the battle for any achievement, any value, any grandeur, any goodness, any joy that has ever existed on this earth."

These are fighting words against a church that adamantly believes in putting their lives before the altar of an omniscient, omnipotent being who instructs the individual to put the needs of others on the same level as their own. These also often seem to conflict with certain Socialist ideals that often seem to coincide with a fair amount Scriptural standings.

Even in our current recession, the world economy has still sky-rocketed over only the past 150 years (in light of the past 2,000) (www.ggdc.net), the level of income has significantly risen for even the U.S. poor (www.census.gov), world poverty has dropped over 10% in the last twenty years (Money, Greed, and God, Richards, J.), free markets are more efficiently meeting basic needs (www.ers.usda.gov & www.heritage.org), and longer lifespans exist for growing economies (www.gapminder.org).

With words that exalt the individual above all else and statistics that show the powerful influence of capitalist venture and often greed, how do Christians respond to an commonly preached Gospel that may speak otherwise? How do such statements and a similar inquiry coincide with what is found in Matthew 22? Is there a difference between the Objectivism and Capitalism that Ms. Rand speaks of and that of what Scripture actually says on such issues?

Is Capitalism the problem? Although Ayn Rand may hold quite a bit of truth in her writings, is there still room for certain errors that can only be reconciled with something greater? Far beyond a present and tangible well-being, where is true Joy found? What implications do such philosophies have on a day and state-of-mind past our own? What role does the soul (presuming such reality) play in these theories? Where do we respond and how are the answers to such questions manifested in every nook and cranny of the lives that we claim to be with ultimate purpose?

As seen within, this does not appear to be a post with answers, but simply questions that might serve as a stepping-off point for the People to further investigate. I am humbled by my lack definitive response. I await the day to know and act upon more.

the inescapable magnitude of pride.

'This sin has been described by Saint Augustine as the result of pride, of the movement whereby a creature (that is, an essentially dependent being whose principle of existence lies not in itself, but in another) tries to set up on its own, to exist for itself. Such a sin requires no complex social conditions, no extended experience, no great intellectual development. From the moment a creature becomes aware of God as God and of itself as self, the terrible alternative of choosing God or self for the centre is opened to it. This sin is committed daily by young children and ignorant peasants as well as by sophisticated society: it is the fall in every individual life, and in each day of each individual life, the basic sin behind all particular sins:

at this very moment you and I are either committing it, or about to commit it, or repenting it.'

-Mr. Clive Staples, The Problem of Pain

Consequences of Insincerity

(Acts 19: 13-16.

Some Jews who went around driving out evil spirits tried to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those who were demon-possessed. They would say, "In the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, I command you to come out." Seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. One day, the evil spirit answered them, "Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?" Then the man who had the evil spirit jumped on them an overpowered them all. He gave them such a beating that they ran out of the house naked and bleeding.

If we resist the devil by faith in Christ, he will flee from us; but if we think to resist him by the using of Christ's name, or his works, as a spell or charm, Satan will prevail against us -M. Henry

This concept has been running through my mind for quite some time now. Surprisingly enough, it has taken a fair amount of time for me to dig this passage up and consider it, within its proper context.

What does this passage mean to me? What are its implications for the 21st century church? Why is such a concept constantly knocking at my door?

I am constantly grieving the lack of sincerity within the church, as well as rejoicing when I find any whisper of honesty amongst these same people at any given time. Oh, how truly tragic is it to recently hear of so many "spiritual" men leaving their wife, after decades of marriage, supposedly because the love was never there in the first place, and was instead a simple product of social standing. It has been such a plague of sorrow to hear of people abandoning any pursuit of Truth, because they never meant to look for it in the first place, but simply went along with what was presented before them for the sake of convenience. My heart carries an overwhelming burden for some of my dearest friends who come from the pastor-families, which often bring along secrecy at any cost, for the sake of saving face and... "saving souls," as if any human had to ultimately do with the eternal well-being of anyone else. I have watched and experienced the pain of those who choose such ill-fated secrecy, and much like those who claim the name of God, but do not trust in the liberating work of salvation, they are proverbially beaten and bloodied, while often destroying the lives of others, in the process.

There is no beauty in this. There is joy. I do not see Truth in this. There can be no future, if we continue to try and hide our short-comings and imperfections from the reality of the situation, with this "great suit of fig-leaves" that we've made for ourselves.

Much like Gestalt Theory, which have root in some of the Theological findings of Immanuel Kant, true change only comes about when we take on full acceptance of what is, as opposed to what should be. When we surrender to the way things actually are, we finally allow ourselves to be who we are. We are moved by love. We then begin the undeniable and impenetrable process of being restored to back to what we were created to be. Let us find comfort in sincerity and openness. Let us be liberated by forgiveness, and let us shun any dishonesty or shame that keeps us from such liberation. I put hope in the idea that it is here that we find ourselves. It is here that we can begin to see see Truth.

beggars.

all you great men of power, you who boast of your feats-

politicians and entrepreneurs-

can you safeguard your breath in the night while you sleep?

keep your heart beating steady and sure?

as your lie in your bed, does the thought haunt your head

that you're really, rather small?

if there's one thing i know in this life: we are beggars all.

all you champions of science and rulers of men,

can you summon the sun from its sleep?

does the earth seek your counsel on how fast to spin?

can you shut up the gates of the deep?

don't you know that all things hang, as if by a string,

over the darkness- poised to fall?

if there's one things i know in this life: we are beggars all.

all you big shots that swagger and stride with conceit,

did you devise how your frame would be formed?

if you'd be raised in a palace, or live out in the streets?

did you choose the place or the hour you'd be born?

tell me what can you claim? not a thing- not your name.

tell me if you can recall,

just one thing, that's not a gift in this life?

can you hear what's been said?

can you see now that everything is grace after all?

if there's one things I know in this life: we are beggars all.

-only 

d. kensrue '09

My Only Peace. Found in Illogic.

This has been the hardest year of my life.

Acting on faith in order to find Truth, very little has ended up making much sense to me.

I still wouldn't claim to be able to make much sense of almost anything, anymore.

My greatest blessing came in a place of death.

The most audible voice came from the most silent of places.

One of my only comforts came from a man who finds gain in loss. 

Beauty with abandonment.

Simplicity amongst complexity.

Joy within depravity.

For this man in which I take great pride in knowing, I consider myself blessed.

the reality of the situation.

A COPY OF THE LETTER I SENT (A FEW WEEKS AGO) TO THE PRESIDENT OF BIOLA UNIVERSITY.

To Dr Barry Corey,

My name is ( ). I graduated from Biola in 2005, with a BA in Psychology. Shortly thereafter, I moved to Northern California to work at a group home for teen alcoholics and drug addicts. After working up North and then traveling around the East Coast for 6 months, I came back to Los Angeles, and am now going into my second year at ULCA, getting my Masters in Social Welfare. I attend Grace Brethren Church in Long Beach.

In Kinnaman and Lyons’, UnChristian, the authors discuss a survey that was released in 2007. Tragically, it found that “most of the lifestyle activities of born-again Christians were statistically equivalent to those of non-born-agains… Born-again believers are just as likely to bet or gamble, to visit a pornographic website, to take something that did not belong to them, to consult a medium or psychic, to physically fight or abuse someone, to have consumed enough alcohol to be considered legally drunk, to have used an illegal, non-prescription drug, to have said something to someone that was not true, to have gotten back at someone for something he or she did, and to have said mean things behind another person’s back.” On top of all of these things, I regretfully have to admit that from my experience, Christians are sincerely laughed at in many regions of the country, for their inability to function in a secular, outside world, as well.

Although I do not feel comfortable using names without permission, I can also say that I have heard a fair amount of people say (some, that you have met and know personally) that part of the reason that they have given up on the Church, as zealously dreamed of at Biola, is because they have seen very few people actually follow through and commit to a concept of Christian people, interacting with the outside world, in a fashion similar to that of the church in Acts 2. Of those who still consider themselves active Christians after spending a few post-Biola years in the outside world, many of those individuals seem to have become complacent, beginning to live very safe, stagnant “Christian” lives, which do very little besides mimic secular, western culture.

As grateful as I am and as blessed as I feel about my time at Biola, the one thing I truly wish I would’ve been more prepared for was and is life after and outside of Biola University. Truly, by the grace and provision of God, he was and is kind enough to be my sustenance and provision with the things I need to make it in 21^st century, rapidly globalizing world, in which I often feel orphaned and abandoned by the spiritual procrastination and apathy of others. I say none of this out of spite, cynicism, or unhelpful criticism, but out of concern and hope for the future of the Church, Christ’s beloved.

In Initiative A, of Strategic Theme #2, it states that Biola has a strong purpose to “take inventory and contemplate some of the major challenges of our society and world,” as well as discovering how “we may be positioned to serve the world more intentionally.” Dear brother, whether I have nothing, something, or everything to do with it, I beg you to consider focusing more of your training/education with students on how to live as active Christians, once he or she moves into the outside world. I cannot say what this looks like at this moment exactly, but since such an issue has continued to weigh so heavily upon my heart, I had to say something about it. If you have any interest in talking with me more about these issues and what may or may not be done to help, feel free to contact me.

With the best of intentions and the greatest of Hope,

( )

i have yet to here back. and my faith continues to dwindle in times such as these.

maybe we can't judge or define art...

... but maybe as Christians, we should still strive to find Truth and Beauty wherever it seems to have been Divinely placed.

aesthetic.

skill.

self-expression.

progression/creation.

(transcendence of time and place).

.maybe art goes beyond paint and canvas.

let us strive for some type of Absolute in an otherwise, relativistic world and saltless, 21st-century church.

oh, and... 'artwork that is only about wanting to be famous will never make you famous.  any fame is a bi-product of making something that means something.  you don't go to a restaurant and order a meal because you want to have a shit.' -Banksy 

The quite fitting "Stockholm Syndrome"

Upon discussing the title of Derek Webb's new album, "Stockholm Sydrome," it seems as if the general conclusion is that the title is in reference to one held captive, falling in love with the cause of his/her captor, if not the captor in its entirety.

The older I get, the more tragically clear it becomes to me, how strikingly similar the American church is to Western Culture.

I just saw an online video of California's governor holding a giant knife, while suggesting that a good answer to closing the deficit budget would be to buy over-priced cars with Schwarzenegger's very own "celebrity signature" on it.

I also just read an article by Ed Kennedy that said "healthcare spending already accounts for 17 percent of our entire domestic product.  In other advanced nations, where the figure is around 10 percent, everyone has insurance and health outcomes that are equal or better than ours."  Individuals uninsured in this country has reached 47 million, this year.

It breaks my heart to see those who consider themselves genuine, "born-again" Christians spend so much time worrying about being "culturally relevant," It is as if we have something to prove to an already insane culture of American living (as seen above, although I condone no particular political stance, in this reflection), which by the way, we will never do as well as they do- it is not why or how we were made.

I cannot tell anyone to change their way of thinking, besides myself.  I will not tell people what to think, because that is besides the actual point.  The point being here, is that we MUST re-evaluate who we are and what our calling is, in light of such a dark and dismal time and place.  We must move closer to becoming more like CHRIST, not the American church.  If we do not, apathy and spiritual procrastination will most likely lead us to become captive to the very enemy we once fought, not only losing our purpose, but even adopting and embracing the values of something much more dangerous- a world without Truth or Light.

When people ask me whether or not I think they are going to Heaven, I tell them that I truly thank God I will never, ever have to make that decision or even really try to understand what that even begins to look like (when being honest).  However, I do believe that I am getting to the age and the place in my faith where I truly begin to see how actions may begin to define what we sincerely believe in our hearts and where our treasures lie.  It is here that I ask myself, as well Christ's bride, the church, the question of what or who do we believe in.

our wealth should not go unnoticed, any longer.

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.  So if you have not been trust-worthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?"

-Luke 16:10 & 11

I am not suggesting we all become Socialists (or any of us), but it is time for us to re-evaluate where we put our money, and how responsible we are with what we have.  I believe in Capitalism, as far as acquiring provision and opportunity go.  However, what we do once we have obtained these fruits of free enterprise is what should be deeply examined.  For if we believe that God himself, as opposed to money, is Truth, than finances should be the least of our desires, and we should be most diligent in placing them in the hands of things everlasting.

Jon Tyson was the first person (about a year ago) to bring such an apparent and obvious, yet overlooked verse, to light, for me.  It is overwhelming and often, quite embarrassing how we make new gods out of selected Scripture, while avoiding the truth of God's character, in others.

.

On another just as significant note, Lou Huesmann was the first pastor I had ever heard speak in complete, specific honesty about his spiritual doubts, last week.  I am forever grateful, and I look forward to the future of the church, in light of such things...

Fear and Grace.

"If I have denied the desires of the poor or let the eyes of the widow grow weary,

if I have kept my bread to myself, not sharing it with the fatherless... 

... if I have seen anyone perishing for lack of clothing, or a needy man without a garment...

... if I have raised my hand against the fatherless, knowing that I had influence in court,

then let my arm fall from the shoulder, let it be broken off at the joint.

For I dreaded destruction from God, and for fear of his splendor I could not do such things.

If I have put my trust in gold or said to pure gold 'You are my security,' 

if I have rejoiced over my great wealth, the fortune my hands had gained,

if I have regarded the sun in its radiance or the moon moving in splendor,

so that my heart was secretly enticed and my hand offered them a kiss of homage, 

then these also would be sins to be judged,

for I would have been unfaithful to God on high."

- Job 31: 16-28

Continually lost and confused... Oh God, teach me to fear your Truth, while walking in your everlasting Grace... for this I am eternally grateful.

to my dearest of friends. by grace, i strive towards this as an ideal.

... to talk and tell jokes; to indulge in courteous exchanges; to read pleasant books together; to be playful together; to be earnest together; to differ at times without ill-humor, as on might with oneself, and even through these infrequent dissensions to find zest in our more frequent agreements; sometimes teaching, sometimes being taught; longing for someone absent with impatience and welcoming the homecomer with joy.  These and similar tokens of friendship, which spring spontaneously from the hearts of those who love and are loved in return- in countenance, tongue, eyes, and a thousand ingratiating gestures- were all so much fuel to melt our souls together, and out of the many made us one.

-Augustine, Confessions

Oh, how far off the beaten path I've come. There is much work to be done.

The next real literary ‘rebels’ in this country might well emerge as some weird bunch of anti-rebels, born oglers who dare somehow to back away from ironic watching, who have the childish gall actually to endorse and instantiate single-entendre principles. Who treat of plain old untrendy human troubles and emotions in U.S. life with reverence and conviction. Who eschew self-consciousness and hip fatigue. These anti-rebels would be outdated, of course, before they even started. Dead on the page. Too sincere. Clearly repressed. Backward, quaint, naive, anachronistic. Maybe that’ll be the point. Maybe that’s why they’ll be the next real rebels. Real rebels, as far as I can see, risk disapproval. The old postmodern insurgents risked the gasp and squeal:shock disgust, outrage, censorship, accusations of socialism, anarchism, nihilism. Today’s risks are different. The new rebels might be artists willing to risk the yawn, rolled eyes, the cool smile, the nudged ribs, the parody of gifted ironists, the ‘Oh how banal.’ To risk accusations of sentimentality, melodrama. Of overcredulity. Of softness. Of willingness to be suckered by a world of lurkers and starers who fear gaze and ridicule above imprisonment without law.”

– David Foster Wallace, “E Unibus Pluram” (1993)

Not smart enough to pick this up on my own.  Taken from a Cold War Kids post.

we are the church. let us always question standards such as these...

There's a need for greater self-regulation not simply on Wall Street, but also on Pennsylvania Avenue.  We get exercised about the immorality of politicians when they're caught in sex scandals.  Meanwhile, they triple the national debt, enrich their lobbyist friends and write tax loopholes for specific corporations -all perfectly legal- and we regard this as normal. 

- Fareed Zakaria (Newsweek), June 15 2009

the tragedy of socially acceptable sin (of which i am not above).

And I wasn't the only slave to my nesting instinct.  The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue.

We all have the same Johanneshov armchair in the Strinne green stripe pattern.  Mine fell fifteen stories, burning, into a fountain.

We all have the same Rislampa/Har paper lamps made from wire and environmentally friendly unbleached paper.  Mine are confetti.

All that sitting in the bathroom.

The Alle cutlery service.  Stainless steel.  Dishwasher safe.

The Vild hall clock made of galvanized steel, oh, I had to have that.

The Klipsk shelving unit, oh, yeah.

Hemling hat boxes.  Yes.

The street outside my high-rise was sparkling and scattered with all this.

The Mommala quilt-cover set.  Design by Thomas Harila and available in the following:

Orchid.

Fuschia.

Cobalt.

Ebony.

Jet.

Eggshell or heather.

It took my whole life to buy this stuff.

The easy-care textured lacquer of my Kalix occasional tables.

You buy furniture.  You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life.  Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled.  Then the right set of dishes.  Then the perfect bed.  The drapes.  The rug.

Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.

-Palahniuk '96

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

-Matthew 6:17